A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 inthe morning. The
wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said,"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said,"I don't know; some woman
wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one
in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!!!
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,what's
the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is
A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without
a scratch and is applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper
arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion
that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer , I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the
world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of
me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to
left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was
tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on
the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to
respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for
help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"